Basketball Jones

Much like President Obama, I’ve spent the last few days worrying about the economy, not purchasing a new dog, and painstakingly filling out my NCAA Tournament bracket. After Thursday’s games, Obama was 11-5 with his picks while I was 14-2. So, for a brief moment, I was superior to President Obama in at least one thing. I used to be able to boast that I was a better bowler than President Obama, but on Jay Leno’s show last night he said that he recently bowled a 129. Sadly, the last time I took to the lanes I rolled a gentleman’s 90.

As someone who attended a college that never makes the NCAA tournament, I always try to come up with a fake alma mater to root for over the next few weeks. Normally, I like to pick a school that one of my friends attended, but my options are limited this year. For example, Brendan went to Iowa and they were one of the few Big Ten schools that didn’t make the tournament field, JimKid went to DePaul and they were winless in the Big East of the Mississippi Conference, Mary went to St. Mary’s (I think she went there because she liked the name. Why couldn’t her name be Oklahoma, Kansas, or Pittsburgh?) and I’m not even sure where that is, and Stephanie went to Columbia College and they don’t have a basketball team. And quite frankly, the times that I’ve walked passed the Goth looking kids hanging out near Columbia, it’s pretty evident that they didn’t spend a lot of time shooting hoops with their fathers. I also try to avoid rooting for schools that never would have accepted me as a student. I understand that list includes most of the teams competing, but this year I’m limiting them to Duke, Morgan State, Cal. State Northridge, Morehead State, East Tennessee State, and Radford.

One of my favorite ’85 Bears is Mama’s Boy Otis Wilson (the ladies loved him for his body and mind, but I would venture to guess that more loved him for his body) and he went to Louisville, so I like to cheer on the Cardinals whenever possible. I also like Villanova because Howie Long, Jim Croce, and Brendan’s favorite country artist, Toby Keith went there. I thought about rooting for Memphis to support Justin Timberlake’s new tequila venture, 901, which also happens to be Memphis’ area code, but then I read that I’d have to go to St. Louis to buy it. And if I’m going to St. Louis for tequila it’s going to be for Sammy Hagar’s Cabo Wabo. Since I won’t root for Duke, I do root for North Carolina because I like to feel a part of that intense rivalry. Plus, UNC is the team that President Obama picked to win it all and I like to think that in some small way we have a similar thought process. But even though President Obama did poke fun at retards, I still would have not appeared on The Jay Leno Show.